HEART? whats that… FEEL? I don’t know how too…

The months are quickly going by and it is starting to scare me how much older and quickly i am getting, my birthday is coming up in May and i am slowly making my way out of the early twenties. When you realize time is not working at your pace as a woman when you cannot help but start feeling really maternal.

You know when you were teen a lot of things did not really make much sense, most friendships and relationship did not really mean much and you had not valued them as much. In fact most times you did not even know what exactly were doing.  Than you transition into adulthood than things get real, you fall in love, heartbroken, break hearts, make a lot of mistakes, loose yourself, find yourself, build yourself and become a woman.

When you realize there is so much to a partnership you consider a lot of things, heck you even find strengths you really never had or thought you had. At this point just dating does not cut it, whomever you start talking too and consider having as a partner has to be in it for the long run. i mean sex is not just sex anymore now you want to make love. you don’t even mind going through a period of drought just to have the right person touch you.

i think falling in love is really more like finding your soul mate, somebody that just sinks into every part of you, a glove the perfect fit for your hand. not too tight or too loose. just the right fit.

well truth be told the road to this experience is hard, its even harder when you have had it and life just had to happen now you are left to re start that search.

its even sad now in our day and time where “love” is no longer what it was or should be.  How do you stay encouraged and patient in times like these?  a time where selling you soul is okay to do because its accepted, i mean why sell your soul when you have already given it to Christ when  you christened? a time where you are stuck in a situation where you have to make what you share with someone work because you have that stubborn feeling in you called HOPE. You are stuck in a situation with someone who you question loving even when it hurts so much (though it shouldn’t  when do you give up or draw the line in being hopeful? giving so much in what and who you believe in just to be called naive?

What does it really mean to want someone that has something to offer? or to be asked what you have to offer? is there a right answer to give to that question?  i mean when you get seriously involved in someone after all their physical attributes, don’t you than see their inside, their Morales  beliefs, strengths and weaknesses  do you believe in the vision they have or vice versa? do you believe and encourage them in achieving those visions? are you growing with them? are you able to let go of past hurtful experiences and indulge in what is good at the moment?  do they bring out the good in you? are you compatible? as in when one falls can the other be strong for the other? what  does it take to question your partners loyalty? which part of their past and present mistakes or even baggage are you willing to accept and pardon? do you value them enough to TRY 98% not to lie for the sake of trust? knowing people turn into monsters when pushed but is it a monster you are willing to have come out now and then? its scary because love drives so many intense feelings it may lead to a lot of unthinkable and unexplainable words or actions.

the spectrum of relationships/ marriage is so large its hard to speak to the masses, but in the end we are all fighting the same battle of happiness which in reality we can all achieve it really depends on what we are willing to sacrifice or go without. perhaps even how many times you are willing to try.

a lot of these things started playing out in my head when one of my closest friends got married last year, and when we speak now its on a different level which can get you  thinking.  through their own you learn and too experience valuable lessons not just about being compatible but growth too. the last thing you really want to do is try to grow with someone who is already grown. in all aspects of the word. At what point in life does a man truly know they have found their one? whats more what propels them to ask a woman’s hand in marriage?

when you see positive attempts you have to appreciate, it is very hard to succeed but love was never meant to be easy.

love hard but remember to love happy.

Taa Taa Janet









2 thoughts on “HEART? whats that… FEEL? I don’t know how too…

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