Tag Archive | Relationships

HEART? whats that… FEEL? I don’t know how too…


The months are quickly going by and it is starting to scare me how much older and quickly i am getting, my birthday is coming up in May and i am slowly making my way out of the early twenties. When you realize time is not working at your pace as a woman when you cannot help but start feeling really maternal.

You know when you were teen a lot of things did not really make much sense, most friendships and relationship did not really mean much and you had not valued them as much. In fact most times you did not even know what exactly were doing.  Than you transition into adulthood than things get real, you fall in love, heartbroken, break hearts, make a lot of mistakes, loose yourself, find yourself, build yourself and become a woman.

When you realize there is so much to a partnership you consider a lot of things, heck you even find strengths you really never had or thought you had. At this point just dating does not cut it, whomever you start talking too and consider having as a partner has to be in it for the long run. i mean sex is not just sex anymore now you want to make love. you don’t even mind going through a period of drought just to have the right person touch you.

i think falling in love is really more like finding your soul mate, somebody that just sinks into every part of you, a glove the perfect fit for your hand. not too tight or too loose. just the right fit.

well truth be told the road to this experience is hard, its even harder when you have had it and life just had to happen now you are left to re start that search.

its even sad now in our day and time where “love” is no longer what it was or should be.  How do you stay encouraged and patient in times like these?  a time where selling you soul is okay to do because its accepted, i mean why sell your soul when you have already given it to Christ when  you christened? a time where you are stuck in a situation where you have to make what you share with someone work because you have that stubborn feeling in you called HOPE. You are stuck in a situation with someone who you question loving even when it hurts so much (though it shouldn’t  when do you give up or draw the line in being hopeful? giving so much in what and who you believe in just to be called naive?

What does it really mean to want someone that has something to offer? or to be asked what you have to offer? is there a right answer to give to that question?  i mean when you get seriously involved in someone after all their physical attributes, don’t you than see their inside, their Morales  beliefs, strengths and weaknesses  do you believe in the vision they have or vice versa? do you believe and encourage them in achieving those visions? are you growing with them? are you able to let go of past hurtful experiences and indulge in what is good at the moment?  do they bring out the good in you? are you compatible? as in when one falls can the other be strong for the other? what  does it take to question your partners loyalty? which part of their past and present mistakes or even baggage are you willing to accept and pardon? do you value them enough to TRY 98% not to lie for the sake of trust? knowing people turn into monsters when pushed but is it a monster you are willing to have come out now and then? its scary because love drives so many intense feelings it may lead to a lot of unthinkable and unexplainable words or actions.

the spectrum of relationships/ marriage is so large its hard to speak to the masses, but in the end we are all fighting the same battle of happiness which in reality we can all achieve it really depends on what we are willing to sacrifice or go without. perhaps even how many times you are willing to try.

a lot of these things started playing out in my head when one of my closest friends got married last year, and when we speak now its on a different level which can get you  thinking.  through their own you learn and too experience valuable lessons not just about being compatible but growth too. the last thing you really want to do is try to grow with someone who is already grown. in all aspects of the word. At what point in life does a man truly know they have found their one? whats more what propels them to ask a woman’s hand in marriage?

when you see positive attempts you have to appreciate, it is very hard to succeed but love was never meant to be easy.

love hard but remember to love happy.

Taa Taa Janet

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Month of St. Valentine


Its January 31st , thank god we are done with that month and on to one that is loved by many, and also the best for business.

When i parted with my then beau of six years, i found it very disheartening that i was in relationships with people that did not understand the importance of specialty. Most times i felt like i was always giving and never with a return i longed for waking up to a bouquet of flowers delivered to your house, or you find a post it note in one of your jackets or trouser pockets, or he surprises you with a unscheduled visit sends you a text on how beautiful you look from a distance ( yes i was doing the distance thing) simple things like those that just made you feel like a queen. Of course a mutual feeling like this can only happen when both of you are interested in building a future otherwise you are wasting time.

When i snapped out of the past i realized i need to live what i believe in every single relationship, be it platonic or romantic. i stopped always relying on “him” to be spontaneous because most people just are not, it was unfair to place that comparison with my past on my present. So i just started making myself feel special with him, what i mean is i do things that i love and got him accustomed to my ways, it was tough at first but he got the swing of things to a certain extent. When i incorporated him in my quest to escape we both were happy for a certain time in the day.

So valentines day is coming up, what are you lovely lady going to do to feel special yourself and than with him?

i remember last year i ditched the 14th day of february, See as women sometimes we dont even realize there is pressure on Vday, its the gift, what to do where to go and BUDGET. I created my perfect valentines day on a random weekend that i paid for and planned. When the actual day came by i did not really feel any sort of pain that we were too busy for the each other, or that he did not do anything special. i was happy with the morning text and the perfume gift set. same thing with his birthday, try to surprise him before the day some men would actually want to be with their guys at some place than be couped up all day with a woman going out her way to pamper him.

These are a few essentials for whatever plans you may have for that day. Dont lose hope in romance no matter what kind of relationship you have, JUST CREATE YOUR  OWN DEFINITION OF ROMANCE.

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1. A well fitted dress for that escape you plan is always at the top of the list! It is always important not to lose yourself in your union, ladies we get to comfortable ( its not a bad thing) but always remind your partner what he fell for more often than not.

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2. Always have proper under garments, i cannot stress this enough. You dont have to go all out only on special occasions. Good lingerie is an instant confidence booster. Imagine a scenario whereby you would have to undress in front of a stranger/s, what would you want them to see a organised situation down there or mix matched, discolored, stretched out pieces. I think not.

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3. Lets always try to leave our scent wherever we are or whatever we touch. Personally i have a problem with regular body lotions because my skin is extremely dry i prefer body butter it leaves my skin feeling so soft and nourished. it really is inexpensive, if you are not going to smell expensive atleast smell edible (thats my motto) These are the products i love and use from bath & body works:  WARM VANILLA SUGAR– body butter and body mist,  DARK KISS– body butter and body mist, SECRET WONDERLAND– body butter and body mist. The best thing about BB is that they always have some promotion where you receive a few miniatures too, i always give mine to the beau to keep in his car. The best body lotion at BB to leave a lasting scent on clothes, sheets or whatever is BALI MANGO its not available in a butter unfortunately so i only use it paired with the body mist to bed after my evening shower because by morning ill be ashy anyway.

Those days when you really want a mature expensive scent, JADORE- dior, COCO CHANEL-noir, LA PARISENNE-ysl and  BLACK XS- paco rabanne are whats in my closet right now. My most used would be Jadore.

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Alrighty guys i wish you all a happy new month and a blissful valentines day.

Taa

Janet